Weaning

No, the Banana's not being weaned from the breast (although with the advent of Solids, to which she has taken fairly voraciously, I guess that process is started). We're in the midst of three huge family projects right now, all of which involve weaning of some sort or the other. All of them also involve varying degrees of frustration, and even of sadness for what is being left behind and may never come again.

The first big weaning project involves getting the Papaya out of diapers. No sadness involved there - I won't be a bit sorry to see them left behind, nor nostalgic for the good-old-days when I got to change an especially ripe diaper while the Papaya said with relish, "Peanut butter and jam sandwich sauce". Since most of my recent entries have concerned this subject, I won't dwell on it now, except to say that a full week of diarrhea (and it still goes on) does not contribute to progress in this department.

The second big weaning project involves getting the Papaya out of his crib and into a "big boy bed" - the twin bed in his bedroom. I am a little sad about him leaving his safe haven of containment and being able to jump up at any hour of the night (or nap-time). We are having some success in getting him to sleep in there during his nap-time, but our night-time trial failed miserably (he actually asked to go back into his crib in the middle of the night). We're hoping to have made the full transition by this summer, so that we don't have to lug around an extra port-a-crib on our many travels.

The third big weaning project involves getting the Banana out of and away from our bed, and eventually moving her across the house and into the Papaya's crib. Up to last week, she slept in a co-sleeper attached to and level with our bed. When she woke up I would lift her into bed, nurse her until she went to sleep again, lift her back into the co-sleeper, and return to snuggling with my husband. This was happening three or four (sometimes five) times a night, and I was getting very tired. At first I tried just feeding her twice a night and ignoring her cries at the other times, but she was a pretty indomitable screamer and didn't seem to improve any from night to night. Then, I tried lowering the level of the co-sleeper so that she was still next to our bed but near the ground, but that didn't work any better. Hearing me breathe but not being paid attention to seemed to drive the Banana mad, and the 2-3 hours of screaming a night was really wearing on us. Finally, we did what we should probably have done right away, and moved the co-sleeper across the room. She immediately improved and now only cries about an hour and a half each night, starting at around 12:30 a.m. I give her just one feeding a night, now, anytime she wakes after 2:00 a.m., but don't take her into bed with me to feed her. We have high hopes that soon she will discover it's useless to cry, and will settle down into the heavenly pattern of just one quiet feeding a night.

Why, you may be wondering, don't we just move her out of our room & let her cry it out where she won't be bothered by our noises and we won't be as bothered by her cries? The main reason is that she might wake the Papaya, and we don't want her sleeping near him until she learns to sleep through the night. She's going to be sharing a room with us during most of our travels this summer, and we want her to learn to sleep well while in the room with us. But another reason is that I'm not quite ready to let her go yet. We're not sure if we're going to have another baby, and giving up the intimacy and sweetness of having Banana close enough to touch at any time, calm with my hand, and easily check on throughout the night is a very hard thing. I love nursing, and I have especially loved lying in bed with the Banana and nursing her to sleep (the Papaya would never nurse lying down). And I may very well be leaving that sweetness behind forever. I'm sure there will be other sweetnesses in life, but I'm still mourning the loss, even as I am relishing the improved sleep and quality of life it brings.

On a lighter note, the Banana (who refuses pacifiers and other forms of artificial comfort) has finally chosen a "lovey" to help her sleep - my dirty cotton breast pads! She's just crazy about that sour milk smell. If I lay her in bed, almost asleep, and she starts crying, I can usually calm her by laying a breast pad on her mouth. She will stuff it in with her fist, then immediately quiet down, start sucking, close her eyes, and go to sleep. Occasionally I will check on her and find her fast asleep with a breast pad rolled up and sticking out of her mouth. I try to remember to switch and launder them every few days so they don't get too gross! It's wonderfully convenient when we travel - I have a couple"loveys" handy in my bra at all times!